


The Taste of Guilt

by Xyzcl



Category: Shiki (Anime & Manga)
Genre: First Kiss, Guilt, M/M, rising from the dead
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-24
Updated: 2020-08-24
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:21:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 698
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26081869
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Xyzcl/pseuds/Xyzcl
Summary: Natsuno knows too much and the Kirishiki family wants him dead. Tooru is unwillingly volunteered to kill his best friend and on the final night, the guilt is almost too much for him. He has to choose between the life of his friend and the life of his family, if he doesn't kill Natsuno then someone else will be ordered to kill him anyway.
Relationships: Mutou Tooru/Yuuki Natsuno
Comments: 7
Kudos: 27





	The Taste of Guilt

**Author's Note:**

> This is self indulgent, please excuse the mess

Tooru stared at the window he was standing outside of, feeling his stomach twisting with guilt as he listened to his friend sleep on the other side of the glass. He could hear how shallow Natsuno’s breathing was becoming after his last two visits and held his hand over the glass as he thought about just leaving. There was no way he could keep doing this, he couldn’t kill his best friend. There was no guarantee that Natsuno would rise like he did after all, why would he risk losing him forever? At the same time though, he knew he had no choice. If he didn’t kill Natsuno then Tatsumi would make sure his family died instead. Knowing well enough at this point how the Kirishiki worked he was even sure that either he would be ordered to kill his family himself or have to watch as they were all murdered in front of his eyes. He hated this, why did he have to rise? Why did he have to die in the first place? This was all Megumi’s fault, if she hadn’t gone up to meet the Kirishiki family and caught Chizuru’s eye then none of this would even be happening! If he hadn’t turned into a vampire then he wouldn’t be here weighing the life of his best friend against his family! This would be his fourth feeding total off of Natsuno and the odds weren’t in his friend’s favor tonight. There was a high chance that night would be the last one he spent alive. Hearing movement from his friend’s father, Tooru retreated quickly back into the forest to hide as he listened to the sounds inside the bedroom. There was a short conversation held between Natsuno and his father before the window was opened and he could hear their voices clearly without the glass muffling them. Hearing Natsuno’s father say he would come back to check on his friend, Tooru waited for the sound of the closing door and listened to make sure the man had left before walking back up to the window.

“You’d better hurry, my dad’s playing nurse tonight.” Natsuno called out from his bed quietly, knowing that his undead friend could hear him. 

Tooru felt his stomach twist again as he climbed in the open window, pausing out of guilt as he stood by the foot of his friend’s bed. This was too much, he couldn’t stand the idea of doing this. He knew he needed to do it to save his family but why couldn’t there be another way? Natsuno had mentioned running away together, couldn’t they do that? There had to be a way for the two of them to escape! 

“Come here Tooru.” Natsuno whispered as if to break the tense silence. 

“I’m so sorry Natsuno.” Tooru whispered, climbing onto the bed to hold himself over his friend. 

He could feel himself starting to cry again and hoped that his friend wouldn’t notice. He’d become such a crybaby since he’d risen, he couldn’t let Natsuno know how much he cried now. The last bite was bittersweet, his mouth filling with the taste of sadness and guilt as he heard his friend’s breathing become more and more ragged with every drop that slipped down his throat. This was it, this was the end of Natsuno’s life. There was no way he would make it to morning with how weak he was at that point. 

“Please Natsuno, please rise.” Tooru whispered mainly to himself as he heard his friend slip into his final fitful slumber. “Please come back to me.”

He brushed his friend’s bangs out of his face, watching him sleep for a few long moments before leaning down to press his bloodstained lips to Natsuno’s chapped ones in a final farewell. Tooru climbed down off the bed, heading out the window and back into the night. Tatsumi was going to be happy, he knew that much, but the guilt in his stomach as he ran off to find someplace to drown in his own sorrows made it clear that he would never be able to move past this. 

“Please rise Natsuno, I can’t do this without you.”


End file.
